What did they carry home after their last interaction with you?

When did you last go home from work feeling 'off'? Perhaps a little cranky or withdrawn? And then you got snappy with your partner or the kids over something small – someone left their sneakers in the hallway or asked you a question you've answered many times before.

But it wasn't really about the sneakers or the question was it?

Sometime earlier that day at work something happened that made you feel like you didn't matter. A meeting you weren't really heard in. A decision made without you. Someone who looked at their phone while you were mid-sentence. Nothing dramatic. Just enough to leave a small, flat feeling that followed you out the door and sat with you all evening.

Your partner asked what was wrong. "Nothing," you said. "Just work."

But it wasn't nothing. It changed the kind of evening you had, and the kind of partner or parent you had the capacity to be.

Now flip it.

Is there someone in your team who may be carrying that flat feeling home because of something that happened at work today? Not because you meant any harm – probably because you were rushed, or distracted, or moving too fast to notice that the moment mattered. We have all done it – I certainly know I have.

That's the bit we forget.

We tend to think of leadership impact in office hours - engagement scores, retention, this quarter's numbers. All real, all measurable, all worth tracking. But how you lead someone doesn't clock off when they do. It follows them home. Into how they show up for their partner. Into the patience they have left for their kids. Into whether they lie awake replaying the day or actually rest.

Now, I don't want you to walk on eggshells but this is about recognising that the person across the table from you is never just an employee for the hour you're with them. They're a whole person, and you are, temporarily, a significant force in their day.

When you make someone feel like they matter, genuinely seen, not just managed, you're not only building trust that shows up in performance. You're changing what kind of evening they have.

Leadership is about genuinely caring about the people who work for you. And it's exactly the kind of work AI will never carry, because it was never about the content of the conversation. It's about what it felt like to be in it.

So here's what I'd ask you to sit with this week:

Think of one person on your team. What did they carry home after their last interaction with you?

Reply and tell me who came to mind. I always read your responses and I'll write back.

With love

Sue