What Might Change If You Chose Curiosity Over Reaction?

April 08, 2026•2 min read

There is a moment every leader recognises: it’s not in the strategy offsite, not in the well-prepared board presentation.

It’s the moment something doesn’t go to plan.

A challenge. A tension. A behaviour that lands badly.

And in that moment, something shifts.

Your thinking narrows, your body tightens, your instinct is to react.

I remember one of those moments clearly.

I was working with a boss who liked to say, quite proudly: “we don’t work with d**heads.”

And yet one day, we were in a meeting working through some numbers, and he was on his phone the entire time.

Something in me snapped.

I felt disrespected. Dismissed. And before I knew it, I had angrily shouted at him and walked out.

Now, was his behaviour ideal? No.

But neither was mine.

Because what happened next is what matters.

He was the boss, so I went back and apologised. My reaction had been out of proportion.

And in doing so, I realised something uncomfortable:

By reacting the way I did, I hadn’t addressed the behaviour. I had undermined my own position.

The conversation we needed to have… never happened.

This is what emotional rigidity looks like in real time.

Not a lack of capability, but a moment where we become hooked.

Hooked by the story: “This isn’t ok.” “I’m being disrespected.”

And from that place, we react rather than respond.

For me, it usually shows up more quietly.

A need to have the answer. A belief that being “right” matters most.

So I double down. Work harder. Analyse more.

But even if you are right… you still have to deal with the consequences AND build relationships.

Practices like mindfulness and tools like HBDI® have helped me see this more clearly.

Under pressure, my thinking narrows and my ability to step back and see the bigger picture diminishes - exactly when I need it most.

And awareness of that has been a game changer.

Because this is where emotional agility becomes real.

The ability, in the moment, to notice:

What am I feeling? What story am I telling myself? What is actually needed here?

Because then I can move:

From reaction → to reflection