Who else was glued to the Olympics? Wasn’t it fantastic?! So many incredible achievements to be inspired by.

Like so many people across the world (and certainly it felt like every woman or girl I spoke to!) I was entranced by Simone Biles’s achievements in the gymnastics – she truly is quite extraordinary. Having done gymnastics as a kid (albeit very poorly) I am always amazed at what is possible!

And today I want to focus on something I learned in the Netflix documentary Simone Biles Rising because it struck me as being something that afflicts so many successful people I work with.

Following her first Olympics back in 2016, at which she was so successful (winning 4 gold and 1 bronze medals), Simone fell into a depression. Just as everyone expected her to be riding high she came crashing down.

And this is something I am sure many of you have experienced: you have achieved your goals and yet you feel empty, or you immediately shift your focus to what’s next, not taking a moment to celebrate your success.

This leads us to constantly be looking at the next mountain to climb – I’ll be happy when I get that promotion, or when I have the C-suite title, or when I earn $xx. Yet each time we feel good for a minute and then we fall back to earth with a bump.

This phenomenon is known as the arrival fallacy (the term is credited to Dr Tal Ben-Shahar) and it describes the illusion that if we can just achieve this one thing then we will be happy, and the truth is that there is no arriving. We find ourselves in a loop which can lead to constant state of dissatisfaction and stress as we are always chasing the next thing.

Biologically what happens is that as we are chasing and hit the big goals our brains are flooded with dopamine. After the goal is reached the dopamine levels fall, and our mood returns to its baseline level or even lower as the happiness we expected has not materialised.

I know from my own experience that it can be very easy to get caught in this arrival fallacy, thinking that if I had the next promotion I would be happy and I can tell you it only ever worked temporarily!

Be honest with yourself, are you expecting an external event or achievement to provide you with lasting happiness and fulfilment?
So what can we do?

• Take time to celebrate your victories, even the small ones and practice gratitude for how far you have come at this stage
• Connect more deeply to the purpose underlying the goal so that you can find fulfilment in the process and sustain your motivation to keep moving towards your aspirations
• Learn to ground yourself in the present moment, appreciating what you have and where you are right now rather than always looking to the horizon – one of the things I was very struck by when listening to Simone Biles is that she loves to be in the gym
• Develop confidence in who you are, without the titles or the status

This work starts from the inside out and understanding yourself for as the old saying goes:

“Wherever you go, there you are”

With love,
​
Sue

Everyone who knows me knows I love to travel and in my last newsletter I shared how I am holding onto my holiday feelings through a gratitude practice and consciously savouring the moment.

As part of that practice, I want to share some further reflections which prove that holidays are always a great idea and some associated questions to help bring the learning into my everyday work life:

Awe: While we were in Sicily, Mount Etna erupted. Though I wasn’t near the eruption itself, being close to the volcano a few days later, with it still spewing smoke and ash, was a humbling reminder of nature's raw power and our fleeting presence on this planet.

Awe shifts our attention away from ourselves and reminds us that we are part of something bigger – how might that shift affect how I engage with challenges in my work?

New Challenges: Travelling always brings new challenges, and this trip was no exception. Navigating the Sicilian roads and trying to speak the local language pushed me out of my comfort zone. These challenges were daunting but also incredibly rewarding and enriched my travel experience.

How can I ensure that I keep pushing the limits of my comfort zone and keep learning and growing?

Creativity: Exploring new cities,with their hidden gems around every corner, was a delight. The Greek amphitheatre in Taormina, blending ancient history with modern life, left me in awe of human creativity and resilience.

A great exercise to enhance creative thinking is to ask myself how can I find connections between two apparently completely different objects / events?

Friendships: Reconnecting with old friends is one of life’s greatest pleasures. The best friendships endure time and distance, and we found ourselves picking up right where we left off. These reunions, filled with love, honesty, and countless glasses of wine, were marked by tears and laughter, reinforcing the value of these cherished bonds.

I have returned more determined than ever to nurture my relationships: who do I need to call this week?
Laughter & Playfulness: Life can get serious, especially with demanding work schedules. But rediscovering play is essential. Joining the kids on ocean inflatables, we laughed until we cried. Those moments of silliness reminded me not to take life too seriously and to embrace the joy of play. As my 23 year old said: “I hope I am never too old to do this!”

How will I introduce more play into my work life? When we work in a serious role, having fun becomes even more important so I am going to be introducing more playful activities into my coaching and workshops.

Think about your last holiday and ask yourself what can I bring into everyday life?

And then it must be time to plan the next holiday!!

If you want to rethink how you work and lead, then let’s have a chat about how to make changes so that you get greater satisfaction from your life.

With love,
​
Sue

Have you taken a break this year?

I love my work and find it immensely rewarding to work with leaders seeking to increase their impact and enhance their sense of fulfilment at work AND I love to take a break.

I have just returned from a fabulous month-long holiday in Europe. Having spent time in London, Dublin, and Sicily, with family and friends, I feel rejuvenated in mind, body, and spirit. Since I came home, I have been reflecting on the many ways in which this trip filled my cup and today I simply want to focus on one:

Gratitude

I’m immensely grateful for the health and vitality of my 84-year-old mum and stepfather. Their energy and enthusiasm for family adventures remind me of the importance of staying active and engaged with life.

One of the most precious aspects of this trip was the rare opportunity to be with my mum and siblings, all together for the first time in five years. I am grateful that my brother, my sister, our partners and all our kids prioritised family and came together. Those moments around the dinner table, filled with laughter and shared stories, brought me immense joy.

I’m also grateful for the lifestyle my husband and I have built, which allows us the flexibility and financial means to travel. I recognise the privilege in this and don’t take it for granted.

So how can I hold on to these feelings rather than let them drift away too quickly as holiday memories can?

Savour the moment
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To make the most of these fabulous feelings of gratitude, it is important to deeply savour the feelings of joy, happiness, belonging when they arise and notice all the sensations in your body.

During those loud and chaotic dinners, I made a conscious effort to savour these feelings, to be fully present and embrace the love and warmth in the room.

And what does this have to do with being a better leader?

• Practicing gratitude helps you develop a positive outlook, making you more resilient in the face of challenges and setbacks
• Gratitude reduces stress and promotes a sense of well-being, enabling you to maintain a clear and focused mind
• Learning to be fully present in your body with all your sensations helps you respond more effectively to your surroundings
• Being able to recall those feelings in our body can help you regulate your emotional responses
• By appreciating and savouring small positive experiences you can cultivate a greater sense of fulfilment and satisfaction in your role

This holiday was more than just a break from work; it was a lesson in gratitude and the beauty of savouring each moment. So, whether you have been on holiday or not, I invite you to notice and savour all the things you are grateful for – you might be surprised by the ripple effect you create at work!

“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness—it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.” - Brené Brown

If you are looking to be more effective as a leader then reflection is a critical element of your development and this is where executive coaching can support you so if you’d like to accelerate your development this year please schedule a call.

With love,

Sue

WHAT I AM READING

If you’d like to know more about the health benefits of practicing gratitude then check out this article from UCLA Health.

And for some tips on building a gratitude practice visit the Greater Good Science Center Gratitude Journal.

​And being on holiday I focused on reading fiction – devouring both Brooklyn and Long Island by Colm Toibin, which beautifully capture the immigrant experience of a young woman in the 1950s and then subsequently in the 1970s, although the passivity of some of the characters drove me nuts!!

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