Who knows the children’s book ‘We’re Going On A Bear Hunt’? It was written by Michael Rosen (no relation!) and illustrated by Helen Oxenbury way back in 1989 so I am sure lots of you have come across it.
My girls loved this book when they were little and not only were we reading it all the time but we would also act it out in Centennial Park at every birthday party! I would sing the story with the kids whilst my husband would hide in the trees until it was time to jump out to scare the kids (if you have a child who was traumatised by our birthday parties I apologise!)
The story is about a group of children going on a bear hunt and along the way they encounter a series of obstacles, such as long grass, a cold river and thick mud. Each time their refrain is:
“We can't go over it.
We can't go under it.
Oh no!
We've got to go through it!”
So what does this story have to do with leadership?
I was reminded of this refrain as I was reflecting on the experience we have when we have made a choice to step into the unknown, away from a long practiced way of being to a new way of being.
We’ve made the commitment to getting better balance in our lives yet in order to fully become a person who does that we have to move through this murky, awkward learning zone of figuring out how to maintain better boundaries.
We feel untethered because we are letting go of old behaviours, such as saying yes to everyone, and we have not yet fully embraced new ones, such as prioritising our own needs.
But we cannot go over or under this phase, we need to go through it. And this is when you really need a support crew around you.
People who are your cheerleaders as you wade through the mud of setting set clear expectations, who challenge you when you slide back into old patterns of saying yes to everyone as you make your way through the long grass, who remind you of your commitment to a more balanced life when you feel like sitting on the bank instead of jumping into the cold water of difficult conversations. And who are compassionate when sometimes you run away scared from the bear and take on too much.
New behaviours require practice, curiosity and experimentation if we are to embody them so they become truly embedded in our lives.
As one of my clients said of a conversation she had with her CEO following a coaching session “It was hard to have that conversation but it felt really powerful”. This is the practice which will make a difference to her ability to initiate and maintain her boundaries.
Who is going on the bear hunt with you?
My girls loved this book when they were little and not only were we reading it all the time but we would also act it out in Centennial Park at every birthday party! I would sing the story with the kids whilst my husband would hide in the trees until it was time to jump out to scare the kids (if you have a child who was traumatised by our birthday parties I apologise!)
The story is about a group of children going on a bear hunt and along the way they encounter a series of obstacles, such as long grass, a cold river and thick mud. Each time their refrain is:
“We can't go over it.
We can't go under it.
Oh no!
We've got to go through it!”
So what does this story have to do with leadership?
I was reminded of this refrain as I was reflecting on the experience we have when we have made a choice to step into the unknown, away from a long practiced way of being to a new way of being.
We’ve made the commitment to getting better balance in our lives yet in order to fully become a person who does that we have to move through this murky, awkward learning zone of figuring out how to maintain better boundaries.
We feel untethered because we are letting go of old behaviours, such as saying yes to everyone, and we have not yet fully embraced new ones, such as prioritising our own needs.
But we cannot go over or under this phase, we need to go through it. And this is when you really need a support crew around you.
People who are your cheerleaders as you wade through the mud of setting set clear expectations, who challenge you when you slide back into old patterns of saying yes to everyone as you make your way through the long grass, who remind you of your commitment to a more balanced life when you feel like sitting on the bank instead of jumping into the cold water of difficult conversations. And who are compassionate when sometimes you run away scared from the bear and take on too much.
New behaviours require practice, curiosity and experimentation if we are to embody them so they become truly embedded in our lives.
As one of my clients said of a conversation she had with her CEO following a coaching session “It was hard to have that conversation but it felt really powerful”. This is the practice which will make a difference to her ability to initiate and maintain her boundaries.
Who is going on the bear hunt with you?
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