As I continue my series on A.U.T.H.E.N.T.I.C leadership we come to Transformation - and you may wonder how transformation can be part of authenticity?
A = Awareness & Acceptance
U = Unique
T = Transformation
H = Head & Heart
E = Engage & Empower
N = North Star
T = Trust
I = Influence & Impact
C = Compassion, Courage & Curiosity
T = Transformation
In our bid to bring our authentic selves to work we can get caught up in the idea that being authentic means simply showing up as we are, with a “take me or leave me” attitude. Nothing could be further from the truth!
To be authentic leaders we must also be willing to keep learning and growing, to focus on becoming who we want to be. It can be so tempting for us to rely on our usual behaviours when we are challenged but to achieve growth we must move out of our comfort zone and try things which may not come naturally.
Transformation means changing the way we make meaning of the world, and there are times in our lives when external circumstances will push us to do that - when we first leave home, start our first job, have our first child, and there will also be times when we need to be absolutely intentional about our own transformation, because we have a vision of a better future.
We all know that in different social settings we instinctively adapt our style of communication – how you banter with your mates at a bar may be a long way from how you speak at a corporate function and yet it doesn’t mean that one is inauthentic. It indicates that you are tuning in to the social signs about what is acceptable. Now sometimes people take this too far and in being chameleon-like they come across as insincere, yet if you don’t modify your behaviour according to circumstances you will probably strike people as socially inept!
Keep evolving & be prepared to change
We should be prepared to try on many leadership and communication styles as we progress in our careers as what worked in one setting may not in another and if we become too stuck in a single “but this is how I do it” mindset we shut ourselves off to the possibilities of adaptability. Some of those stories which created who we are today have passed their use-by date so we must keep evolving and revising our view of our authentic self. It can be helpful to look at some of those old stories from a fresh perspective so that we reframe our view of ourselves in a way which allows us to move forward. This won't always be easy - after all, to take on new possibilities means we will have to let go of some long held beliefs, assumptions and behaviours, which have protected us for years, and that can make us mighty uncomfortable!
As we grow up our brains are highly attentive to our social and emotional environment, and we adapt in ways which ensure we optimise safety, connection to others and respect from others. As an example one of my clients was very much socialised as a young girl to believe that she must not stand out or be different, and another was brought up to believe that he was only worthy of respect if he could fight his way out of a corner. Both of these adaptations protected these individuals in many ways as they grew up, however now these very same behaviours are getting in the way of their growth as leaders so it is important to unpack the stories driving the behaviours, and choose a new story and a new mindset.
It can feel very strange to try new mindsets and stories but if we see these experiments as all part of our learning then we needn’t be so afraid of failing or letting others down. This is all part of adopting a growth mindset, which enables us to see ourselves as capable of change and flexibility in the face of new circumstances. Find multiple role models and learn from all of them so that rather than trying to copy one you develop your own voice. Share with your family, direct reports or peers what you are working on so that they can support you.
Our experiences and our interpretation of them play an integral role in shaping who we are and by continually pushing the boundaries of those experiences and learning from them we can fundamentally change how we interact with others – without needing a personality transplant!!
Seeing what is on the other side of transformation can pull you forward, for as author Anais Nin said:
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
Or as Muhammed Ali once said:
"A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life."
A = Awareness & Acceptance
U = Unique
T = Transformation
H = Head & Heart
E = Engage & Empower
N = North Star
T = Trust
I = Influence & Impact
C = Compassion, Courage & Curiosity
T = Transformation
In our bid to bring our authentic selves to work we can get caught up in the idea that being authentic means simply showing up as we are, with a “take me or leave me” attitude. Nothing could be further from the truth!
To be authentic leaders we must also be willing to keep learning and growing, to focus on becoming who we want to be. It can be so tempting for us to rely on our usual behaviours when we are challenged but to achieve growth we must move out of our comfort zone and try things which may not come naturally.
Transformation means changing the way we make meaning of the world, and there are times in our lives when external circumstances will push us to do that - when we first leave home, start our first job, have our first child, and there will also be times when we need to be absolutely intentional about our own transformation, because we have a vision of a better future.
We all know that in different social settings we instinctively adapt our style of communication – how you banter with your mates at a bar may be a long way from how you speak at a corporate function and yet it doesn’t mean that one is inauthentic. It indicates that you are tuning in to the social signs about what is acceptable. Now sometimes people take this too far and in being chameleon-like they come across as insincere, yet if you don’t modify your behaviour according to circumstances you will probably strike people as socially inept!
Keep evolving & be prepared to change
We should be prepared to try on many leadership and communication styles as we progress in our careers as what worked in one setting may not in another and if we become too stuck in a single “but this is how I do it” mindset we shut ourselves off to the possibilities of adaptability. Some of those stories which created who we are today have passed their use-by date so we must keep evolving and revising our view of our authentic self. It can be helpful to look at some of those old stories from a fresh perspective so that we reframe our view of ourselves in a way which allows us to move forward. This won't always be easy - after all, to take on new possibilities means we will have to let go of some long held beliefs, assumptions and behaviours, which have protected us for years, and that can make us mighty uncomfortable!
As we grow up our brains are highly attentive to our social and emotional environment, and we adapt in ways which ensure we optimise safety, connection to others and respect from others. As an example one of my clients was very much socialised as a young girl to believe that she must not stand out or be different, and another was brought up to believe that he was only worthy of respect if he could fight his way out of a corner. Both of these adaptations protected these individuals in many ways as they grew up, however now these very same behaviours are getting in the way of their growth as leaders so it is important to unpack the stories driving the behaviours, and choose a new story and a new mindset.
It can feel very strange to try new mindsets and stories but if we see these experiments as all part of our learning then we needn’t be so afraid of failing or letting others down. This is all part of adopting a growth mindset, which enables us to see ourselves as capable of change and flexibility in the face of new circumstances. Find multiple role models and learn from all of them so that rather than trying to copy one you develop your own voice. Share with your family, direct reports or peers what you are working on so that they can support you.
Our experiences and our interpretation of them play an integral role in shaping who we are and by continually pushing the boundaries of those experiences and learning from them we can fundamentally change how we interact with others – without needing a personality transplant!!
Seeing what is on the other side of transformation can pull you forward, for as author Anais Nin said:
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
Or as Muhammed Ali once said:
"A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life."
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