What is it?
Self-awareness is being aware of who we are, understanding what makes us tick, recognising our strengths and weaknesses. It is being alert to those emotional triggers within us, and the experiences on which they are based. We proceed through varying stages of development through infancy, early childhood and adolescence, and as adults we can demonstrate very different levels of self-awareness.
Why is it so important?
I think the key is that until we have an understanding of ourselves how can we hope to grow or improve ourselves?
Knowing who you are, what you stand for and what your values are, will help you find your purpose and that will enable you to set goals which energise and excite you. When you have these goals you will be in a stronger position to focus on achieving them and a greater ability to communicate them.
Positive psychology has provided much research showing that you can improve your performance by focusing on your strengths, so you need to figure what they are and how to incorporate them into everyday life.
Self-awareness also heightens your understanding of how your attitudes or behaviours affect other people which will help you improve the productivity of your work team and your personal relationships. You can improve your own well-being by learning what motivates and energises you so you spend more time on those and less on those things which deplete you.
Knowing where your blind spots are, those really tricky points for you, can be valuable too. Sometimes these are things we really don’t want to confront but identifying them gives us choices. We can enlist help from colleagues and family in times when we know one of these blind spots is impairing our judgement, or we can learn to use our strengths to mitigate the risks around them.
How to improve self-awareness?
Give yourself some time and space for reflection. It is too easy to get caught up in the busyness of work and families and never really think beyond today’s to do list. Going for a walk or run works for some people, others head to yoga and meditation, to quieten the chatter in your mind and get in touch with what is at your core. Journal how certain things make you react and notice that once are aware of the instinctive reaction you can learn to nip it in the bud.
For me regular exercise and meditation, combined with occasional yoga retreats away from work and family allow me to recharge and to spend some time re-assessing my priorities in all areas of my life. This isn’t just indulgent navel-gazing, it enables me to be a healthier, happier person, which in turn allows me to be more engaged at work and more present for my family.
To identify your strengths take the VIA Strengths survey at http://www.viacharacter.org/www/ and seek opportunities to use these everyday. If you’re not sure if they are accurate ask your family or colleagues for their take on your strengths and reflect on times when you knew you were at your best. If you want some additional help then work through the results and their meaning with a coach (maybe me?!).
Spend time reflecting on how other people might see you and try and understand why. Seek feedback from the most important people in your life. In ‘Be a Better Leader, Have a Richer Life’, Stew Friedman recommends splitting your life into quadrants being work, family, community and private / inner life (including physical, mental and emotional health), and selecting 2 or 3 of the most important people in each area with whom you can discuss your expectations of each other, and how you are meeting or failing to meet them.
Some of these actions and conversations will be confronting and remember you need to be prepared to be very honest and open-minded going in to these conversations if you want to hear the truth!
I doubt if there is such a thing as perfect self-awareness but increasing your self-awareness is the first step on the road to developing emotional intelligence and any area of self-improvement.
If you would like help with increasing your understanding of your strengths and how to use them please get in touch.