When I was younger I spent way too many years of my career in roles where I wasn't happy, where I didn't feel like I was making a valuable contribution, where I didn't feel like I was learning and growing, and where I did not connect with the organisation's purpose.
Ultimately it was the realisation that I was being a terrible role model to my 2 daughters which made me examine my own behaviours. I was saying one thing, about growing up to do whatever you want, yet there I was miserable and trapped in a job I didn't like - I was not walking my talk!
It was these experiences which brought me to coaching, initially to help get me "unstuck" so that I could take action move forward, and then to learn more about how to show up authentically and fulfil my potential. This is why I am so passionate about supporting professionals to become authentic leaders, who truly connect their heads and their hearts. This is the only way to step up and shine in your role, and to find greater fulfilment.
So what does it mean to show up as an authentic leader?
I love researcher Brene Brown's definition:
"Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be emotionally honest, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable."
In the complex and uncertain times in which we live, when trust is in short supply, cultivating human connections with our employees and our peers is more critical than ever and at the heart of doing that lies authenticity. No-one will follow, or do their best work for, a leader they don't trust or believe is "real".
If you have ever felt you had to wear a mask at work in order to fit in, and if you are a woman or a member of a minority group then you almost certainly have, then it can feel like a substantial challenge to take off the mask and show up fully as YOU. So my next series of blogs are going to address how to become an A.U.T.H.E.N.T.I.C. leader.
A = Awareness & Acceptance
The starting point for authenticity is awareness because until we know who we are how can we show up as our best selves? Perhaps this sounds crazy but when we are chasing the next promotion or trying desperately to climb to the next rung of the career ladder it can be very easy to lose touch with who we really are inside.
Self-awareness is your ability to monitor both your inner and outer world and is a key component of emotional intelligence, which is critical to leadership. So how can we develop our self-awareness?
Acceptance is about being honest & realistic about where you are at right now, simultaneously accepting responsibility for the part you have played in getting to this point and acknowledging that not everything is within your control.
Self-acceptance can be a struggle because most high achievers are hard-wired to be looking to the next goal or “win” but it is possible to accept your current situation, whilst still being curious about how to be better. This requires us to acknowledge our limitations and our strengths and that, unlike Mary Poppins, who was “practically perfect in every way” we are all perfectly imperfect. And it is when we allow ourselves to turn up with our imperfections that we make it safe for those around us to bring their imperfections, which enables us to build trust and work together effectively.
It can be challenging to at once think "I am enough" and "I want to do better", and the quote I love which I keep returning to when I am struggling with this balance is this:
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Carl Rogers
This is where AUTHENTIC leadership starts.
A = Awareness & Acceptance
U = Unique
T = Transformation
H = Head & Heart
E = Engage & Empower
N = North Star
T = Trust
I = Influence & Impact
C = Compassion, Courage & Curiosity
with love
Sue
Ultimately it was the realisation that I was being a terrible role model to my 2 daughters which made me examine my own behaviours. I was saying one thing, about growing up to do whatever you want, yet there I was miserable and trapped in a job I didn't like - I was not walking my talk!
It was these experiences which brought me to coaching, initially to help get me "unstuck" so that I could take action move forward, and then to learn more about how to show up authentically and fulfil my potential. This is why I am so passionate about supporting professionals to become authentic leaders, who truly connect their heads and their hearts. This is the only way to step up and shine in your role, and to find greater fulfilment.
So what does it mean to show up as an authentic leader?
I love researcher Brene Brown's definition:
"Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be emotionally honest, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable."
In the complex and uncertain times in which we live, when trust is in short supply, cultivating human connections with our employees and our peers is more critical than ever and at the heart of doing that lies authenticity. No-one will follow, or do their best work for, a leader they don't trust or believe is "real".
If you have ever felt you had to wear a mask at work in order to fit in, and if you are a woman or a member of a minority group then you almost certainly have, then it can feel like a substantial challenge to take off the mask and show up fully as YOU. So my next series of blogs are going to address how to become an A.U.T.H.E.N.T.I.C. leader.
A = Awareness & Acceptance
The starting point for authenticity is awareness because until we know who we are how can we show up as our best selves? Perhaps this sounds crazy but when we are chasing the next promotion or trying desperately to climb to the next rung of the career ladder it can be very easy to lose touch with who we really are inside.
Self-awareness is your ability to monitor both your inner and outer world and is a key component of emotional intelligence, which is critical to leadership. So how can we develop our self-awareness?
- Practice mindfulness and / or meditation to learn to notice what is happening in our bodies
- Learn to recognise our emotions, and then ask what triggers particular emotions in us
- Explore our values and understand what is most important to us so that we begin to act in alignment with those values, and also recognise when we are not so that we can course correct along the way
- Pay attention to what energises us and what depletes – in all the realms of energy: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual
- Seek feedback on other people’s perceptions of us as it is important not to see ourselves only through our own lens
- Journal so that we can work though thoughts and observe patterns
Acceptance is about being honest & realistic about where you are at right now, simultaneously accepting responsibility for the part you have played in getting to this point and acknowledging that not everything is within your control.
Self-acceptance can be a struggle because most high achievers are hard-wired to be looking to the next goal or “win” but it is possible to accept your current situation, whilst still being curious about how to be better. This requires us to acknowledge our limitations and our strengths and that, unlike Mary Poppins, who was “practically perfect in every way” we are all perfectly imperfect. And it is when we allow ourselves to turn up with our imperfections that we make it safe for those around us to bring their imperfections, which enables us to build trust and work together effectively.
It can be challenging to at once think "I am enough" and "I want to do better", and the quote I love which I keep returning to when I am struggling with this balance is this:
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Carl Rogers
This is where AUTHENTIC leadership starts.
A = Awareness & Acceptance
U = Unique
T = Transformation
H = Head & Heart
E = Engage & Empower
N = North Star
T = Trust
I = Influence & Impact
C = Compassion, Courage & Curiosity
with love
Sue
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