There’s a lot of buzz around at the moment about being an authentic leader and bringing the real you to work but what does that mean for how we behave and interact with others?
Does it mean I should air my opinions at every opportunity? Does it mean that I should tell the new guy in the office that I have no interest in hearing about last night’s footy match?
And if I get authentic now does that mean that I wasn’t myself before? In fact if I have to learn to be authentic then how authentic am I now being? Who is the real me?
Is she the party girl who loves to do dancing ‘til dawn? (maybe not so much anymore!) Is she the nerd who always studied hard for exams? Is she the lazy slob who loves nothing better than to stay in bed until noon and hates doing housework, or the conscientious worker who never misses a deadline? Is she the super confident performer, or is she the shy woman who is too nervous to speak to strangers at networking events because why they would be interested in anything she has to say?
How can I bring all of this to the office? I will confuse myself let alone anyone else!
So what is authenticity?
In trying to resolve my confusion I have been doing a lot of reading around values, strengths and emotional intelligence. Recently I read an excellent article by Bill George in the Harvard Business Review (Discovering your authentic leadership) which helped me figure this out.
George identified authenticity as knowing what is really important to you and then aligning your actions with your values so that you can consistently practice and convey your values to others. It means to get in touch with what is really inside your heart so that you can discover or rediscover your passions and then learn to let your heart lead you as well as your head.
You need to understand your own story so that you figure out what really motivates you and find ways you can stay true to yourself whilst juggling work, family, personal health and social life.
However it is not enough to say “this is who I am, take me or leave me!”
We must also be willing to keep learning and growing. Another great article in HBR by Herminia Ibarra (The Authenticity Paradox) identifies that it is tempting for us to rely on our usual behaviours when we are challenged but that to achieve growth we must move out of our comfort zone and do things which may not come naturally. This may mean that we need to “fake it until we make it” because we need to learn from the experience of doing something new.
We all know that in different social settings we instinctively adapt our style of communication – how you banter with your mates at a bar may be a long way from how you speak at a corporate function and yet it doesn’t mean that one is inauthentic. It indicates that you are tuning in to the social signs about what is acceptable. Now sometimes people take this too far and in being chameleon-like they come across as insincere, yet if you don’t modify your behaviour according to circumstances you will probably strike people as socially inept!
Keep evolving & be prepared to change
We should be prepared to try on many leadership and communication styles as we progress in our careers as what worked in one setting may not in another and if we become too stuck in a single “but this is how I do it” mindset we shut ourselves off to the possibilities of adaptability. Some of those stories which created who we are today have passed their use-by date so we must keep evolving and revising our view of our authentic self. It can be helpful to look at some of those old stories from a fresh perspective so that we reframe our view of ourselves in a way which allows us to move forward.
Trying new communication styles or ways of interacting with people does feel strange but if we see these as all part of our learning then we needn’t be so afraid of failing or letting others down. Find multiple role models and learn from all of them so that rather than trying to copy one you develop your own voice.
Our experiences and our interpretation of them play an integral role in shaping who we are and by continually pushing the boundaries of those experiences and learning from them we can fundamentally change how we interact with others – without needing a personality transplant!!
All the latest research on the benefits of having a growth mindset show that we are never too old to keep learning and growing so if we are open-minded we continue to improve all of our relationships.
As Muhammed Ali once said “A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.”
If you would like help in reframing your stories and exploring your values and strengths please contact me at [email protected]
Does it mean I should air my opinions at every opportunity? Does it mean that I should tell the new guy in the office that I have no interest in hearing about last night’s footy match?
And if I get authentic now does that mean that I wasn’t myself before? In fact if I have to learn to be authentic then how authentic am I now being? Who is the real me?
Is she the party girl who loves to do dancing ‘til dawn? (maybe not so much anymore!) Is she the nerd who always studied hard for exams? Is she the lazy slob who loves nothing better than to stay in bed until noon and hates doing housework, or the conscientious worker who never misses a deadline? Is she the super confident performer, or is she the shy woman who is too nervous to speak to strangers at networking events because why they would be interested in anything she has to say?
How can I bring all of this to the office? I will confuse myself let alone anyone else!
So what is authenticity?
In trying to resolve my confusion I have been doing a lot of reading around values, strengths and emotional intelligence. Recently I read an excellent article by Bill George in the Harvard Business Review (Discovering your authentic leadership) which helped me figure this out.
George identified authenticity as knowing what is really important to you and then aligning your actions with your values so that you can consistently practice and convey your values to others. It means to get in touch with what is really inside your heart so that you can discover or rediscover your passions and then learn to let your heart lead you as well as your head.
You need to understand your own story so that you figure out what really motivates you and find ways you can stay true to yourself whilst juggling work, family, personal health and social life.
However it is not enough to say “this is who I am, take me or leave me!”
We must also be willing to keep learning and growing. Another great article in HBR by Herminia Ibarra (The Authenticity Paradox) identifies that it is tempting for us to rely on our usual behaviours when we are challenged but that to achieve growth we must move out of our comfort zone and do things which may not come naturally. This may mean that we need to “fake it until we make it” because we need to learn from the experience of doing something new.
We all know that in different social settings we instinctively adapt our style of communication – how you banter with your mates at a bar may be a long way from how you speak at a corporate function and yet it doesn’t mean that one is inauthentic. It indicates that you are tuning in to the social signs about what is acceptable. Now sometimes people take this too far and in being chameleon-like they come across as insincere, yet if you don’t modify your behaviour according to circumstances you will probably strike people as socially inept!
Keep evolving & be prepared to change
We should be prepared to try on many leadership and communication styles as we progress in our careers as what worked in one setting may not in another and if we become too stuck in a single “but this is how I do it” mindset we shut ourselves off to the possibilities of adaptability. Some of those stories which created who we are today have passed their use-by date so we must keep evolving and revising our view of our authentic self. It can be helpful to look at some of those old stories from a fresh perspective so that we reframe our view of ourselves in a way which allows us to move forward.
Trying new communication styles or ways of interacting with people does feel strange but if we see these as all part of our learning then we needn’t be so afraid of failing or letting others down. Find multiple role models and learn from all of them so that rather than trying to copy one you develop your own voice.
Our experiences and our interpretation of them play an integral role in shaping who we are and by continually pushing the boundaries of those experiences and learning from them we can fundamentally change how we interact with others – without needing a personality transplant!!
All the latest research on the benefits of having a growth mindset show that we are never too old to keep learning and growing so if we are open-minded we continue to improve all of our relationships.
As Muhammed Ali once said “A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.”
If you would like help in reframing your stories and exploring your values and strengths please contact me at [email protected]
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