Resilience is an inner strength, one we can draw on when times are tough, however its important to realise that this is not a “grin and bear it” sort of strength. It requires strength and flexibility – imagine being a willow tree (or palm tree as in the photo above), which is able to bend and flex with the storm, and then recover its full stature once the wind subsides. It is not like an oak tree which may have its branches snapped off, or which in a really intense gale may be broken in two at the trunk.
So how can we build this inner strength and flexibility?
Firstly we should realise that building resilience takes time and we can learn to be more resilient every day, so that when we face major challenges we have already cultivated the internal resources. We can do this on a daily basis by asking the question “what can I do to do my best today?”
These are my top 6 tips for building resilience:
1. Self-compassion
So often we equate resilience with toughing something out but it is essential that we acknowledge when things are hard, and give ourselves a break. Being on your own side and talking to yourself as you would to a good friend can motivate you towards change much more efficiently than beating yourself up. Our brains work better when we feel supported rather than threatened, so give up the mean girl inner voice!
2. Rest & recovery
Make sure you build sufficient rest and recovery time into your life – plenty of sleep at night and also breaks during the day. It turns out that just as interval training is good for our bodies, with its pattern of high intensity followed by recovery, our brains also need a pattern of activity followed by recovery in order to rejuvenate. Try short meditations, or breathing exercises, or a walk around the block to clear your mind and switch it off from the activity which is depleting it. None of us bounce so well when we are exhausted!
3. Bite -size chunks
I love the old riddle of how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! (boom-tish!) Almost anything is surmountable if you can break it down into bite-size chunks. Just focus on the next step you need to take.
4. Celebrate small successes
Rather than waiting until you have achieved a major goal, find opportunities to celebrate the milestones along the way. Reward yourself for making progress and you will motivate yourself to keep going.
5. Ask for help
Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you are struggling – allowing yourself you to be vulnerable empowers those around you to step up, which can give you a chance to recover your equilibrium. Everyone needs a support team.
6. Seek out & savour
Our brains are like Teflon for positive experiences and Velcro for negative ones (for evolutionary reasons) so to enhance your well-being seek out activities which bring you joy and also ensure that you really savour those moments. Fully internalise those feelings into your body and you will always have them there to draw upon.
And ALWAYS remember the following:
“You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.” AA Milne, Winnie The Pooh
If you are interested in finding freedom & fulfilment in your life or supporting your staff to find them in theirs then please get in touch to discuss either one-on-one coaching or a workshop designed to improve the well-being and performance of your whole team, contact me at [email protected]
Sue runs sue rosen executive coaching and specialises in helping people unleash the power of their potential.
So how can we build this inner strength and flexibility?
Firstly we should realise that building resilience takes time and we can learn to be more resilient every day, so that when we face major challenges we have already cultivated the internal resources. We can do this on a daily basis by asking the question “what can I do to do my best today?”
These are my top 6 tips for building resilience:
1. Self-compassion
So often we equate resilience with toughing something out but it is essential that we acknowledge when things are hard, and give ourselves a break. Being on your own side and talking to yourself as you would to a good friend can motivate you towards change much more efficiently than beating yourself up. Our brains work better when we feel supported rather than threatened, so give up the mean girl inner voice!
2. Rest & recovery
Make sure you build sufficient rest and recovery time into your life – plenty of sleep at night and also breaks during the day. It turns out that just as interval training is good for our bodies, with its pattern of high intensity followed by recovery, our brains also need a pattern of activity followed by recovery in order to rejuvenate. Try short meditations, or breathing exercises, or a walk around the block to clear your mind and switch it off from the activity which is depleting it. None of us bounce so well when we are exhausted!
3. Bite -size chunks
I love the old riddle of how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! (boom-tish!) Almost anything is surmountable if you can break it down into bite-size chunks. Just focus on the next step you need to take.
4. Celebrate small successes
Rather than waiting until you have achieved a major goal, find opportunities to celebrate the milestones along the way. Reward yourself for making progress and you will motivate yourself to keep going.
5. Ask for help
Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you are struggling – allowing yourself you to be vulnerable empowers those around you to step up, which can give you a chance to recover your equilibrium. Everyone needs a support team.
6. Seek out & savour
Our brains are like Teflon for positive experiences and Velcro for negative ones (for evolutionary reasons) so to enhance your well-being seek out activities which bring you joy and also ensure that you really savour those moments. Fully internalise those feelings into your body and you will always have them there to draw upon.
And ALWAYS remember the following:
“You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.” AA Milne, Winnie The Pooh
If you are interested in finding freedom & fulfilment in your life or supporting your staff to find them in theirs then please get in touch to discuss either one-on-one coaching or a workshop designed to improve the well-being and performance of your whole team, contact me at [email protected]
Sue runs sue rosen executive coaching and specialises in helping people unleash the power of their potential.
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