Is this getting you down?

So as well as Covid-19 in our community I am seeing an awful lot of another debilitating disease: Comparisonitis!

I was hit by a very nasty bout of it a few weeks ago. I am in a mentoring group of really supportive female business owners and yet I found myself struggling to celebrate their successes because I kept thinking what am I doing wrong that their revenue is higher than mine? And looking at a competitor’s social media posts about her new book and thinking why would anyone work with me when she clearly knows and can offer so much more?

Who else has suffered from this? The nauseous feeling is brought on when you compare your own achievements to other people around you and find your own sorely lacking. I know from my clients that many of them have questioned where they are at in their careers when they compare themselves with other leaders.

I actually think that everyone has suffered this at some stage (unless they are entirely narcissistic!) because it is natural to look at people around us and judge what we see. It is all too easy to get sucked into looking at what they are doing and forget that we only see their highlight reels and rarely their bloopers.
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And I find that it can be very tricky to shift. Once you are stuck in that place it can be become completely debilitating because what is the point of my getting out of bed and doing anything if everyone else can do it better? The voice of the inner critic becomes louder and louder and threatens to become the biggest obstacle to our progress.
 
“Comparison is the thief of joy” - Theodore Roosevelt
 
So what can you do to recover from comparisonitis?
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• Acknowledge that you don’t know the full story of the people you’re looking at: neither what it took for them to get here, or indeed where ‘here’ actually is because it is very possible to have a shiny exterior and be struggling to pay the rent.
   
• Focus on your own strengths and your North Star: when you have a deep understanding of the value you bring and a connection to your purpose you will know that the other person may be in the same role or the same business but no one else will bring quite the unique combination of strengths, experiences, passion and presence that you will.
   
• Harness curiosity to engage your beginner’s mindset: what are the things I can learn from the people around me? What inspires me and could I tap into in my own role? How could I engage the support of those who are doing well?
   
• Focus on what brings you joy: shifting your focus to what energises you and lights you up is a powerful way to shift your mindset.

 
I feel your pain if you have been struggling with comparisonitis, it is an icky place to be, and it can sometimes strike out of the blue, so if that is you, what will you do this week to start your recovery?
If you’d like support to shift your mindset to focus on your own professional growth rather than watching someone else’s then let’s have a chat.
 
with love
Sue
 
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