Years ago I asked to meet with my boss because I was feeling rather disengaged. I told him I felt unsure of my place in the team, that I was stagnating in my development and that I would like to be considered for some meatier projects. I felt I had a lot more I could contribute.
My boss listened…… and then scolded me for taking too long a lunch break that day!
As you can imagine I did not feel heard, and I walked out of his office muttering expletives under my breath! I had taken a long lunch break to attend a job interview and this comment simply reaffirmed that looking for another role was the best way for me to spend my time.
As finance professionals we are trained to be analytical, and our work has generally meant that we are very task focused, we take pride in our abilities to get stuff done and deliver to deadlines. As a rule, I find that my clients are task and action-oriented, yet when we operate like this we can lose sight of both our relationship with ourselves and our relationships with others. This means we spend most of our time in our heads and we can become disconnected with our heart and soul.
Why does that matter?
Like my former boss it can mean that you become so focused on the tasks and processes that you lose sight of the real person sitting in front of you. And if you are unable to build deeper connections with the people who work for you, they will never give you their loyalty, fulfil their potential or make their greatest contribution.
Equally if you do not invest time and energy in building relationships with your peers you are liable to find yourself feeling increasingly side-lined in decision making, perhaps wondering why you can’t seem to get your voice and opinion heard.
Or doubling down on your title and position and demanding that as CFO your perspective matters – in the short-term this might work because of course you do have important technical expertise which is critical to the business but over time you may notice that your colleagues are not sharing their thinking, then you become frustrated that you are not being consulted early enough in projects, and ultimately business performance suffers.
So how can you shift from leading with your head to leading with your heart?
There is nothing more scary to a CFO than the idea that they might be perceived as soft and fluffy (I know, I was terrified of this perception because it does not fit the CFO mould!) But remember I am not asking you to abandon your head and it’s brilliant thinking, I am suggesting that it is time to learn to lead with both so that we are accessing all the data available – both from our heads and our hearts. And that means learning to lead with LOVE.
Listening: taking time to actively listen to the people we work with
Openness: bringing an open-mind and non-judgemental attitude to conversations
Vulnerability: authenticity as a leader is critical and that takes vulnerability
Empathy: sensing other people’s emotions and imagining what they might be feeling is usually the first step before we can act compassionately
Some of the CFOs I work with are more task focused than others – we all move up and down the continuum between task and relationship focus depending on circumstances, but we can all develop our capabilities in these areas of LOVE.
It starts with a desire to change, to transform our leadership so that we become more effective as leaders, so that we can deliver improved business performance – and there is nothing soft and fluffy about this!
Rasmus Hougaard in his book The Mind of the Leader, based on his research with over 35,000 leaders, describes leadership this way:
“Leadership today is about unlearning management and relearning being human.”
“A good leader must understand what makes a good life and how to help people find that. A leader’s job is not to provide a paycheck and benefits: It’s about helping people be truly happy and find meaning in their work and life. When a leader succeeds with this, it unlocks real performance.”
I certainly know that if my boss had treated me with more compassion and shown a genuine regard for my growth and development I would have been performing at a much higher level.
What steps can you take this week to lead with more LOVE?
My boss listened…… and then scolded me for taking too long a lunch break that day!
As you can imagine I did not feel heard, and I walked out of his office muttering expletives under my breath! I had taken a long lunch break to attend a job interview and this comment simply reaffirmed that looking for another role was the best way for me to spend my time.
As finance professionals we are trained to be analytical, and our work has generally meant that we are very task focused, we take pride in our abilities to get stuff done and deliver to deadlines. As a rule, I find that my clients are task and action-oriented, yet when we operate like this we can lose sight of both our relationship with ourselves and our relationships with others. This means we spend most of our time in our heads and we can become disconnected with our heart and soul.
Why does that matter?
Like my former boss it can mean that you become so focused on the tasks and processes that you lose sight of the real person sitting in front of you. And if you are unable to build deeper connections with the people who work for you, they will never give you their loyalty, fulfil their potential or make their greatest contribution.
Equally if you do not invest time and energy in building relationships with your peers you are liable to find yourself feeling increasingly side-lined in decision making, perhaps wondering why you can’t seem to get your voice and opinion heard.
Or doubling down on your title and position and demanding that as CFO your perspective matters – in the short-term this might work because of course you do have important technical expertise which is critical to the business but over time you may notice that your colleagues are not sharing their thinking, then you become frustrated that you are not being consulted early enough in projects, and ultimately business performance suffers.
So how can you shift from leading with your head to leading with your heart?
There is nothing more scary to a CFO than the idea that they might be perceived as soft and fluffy (I know, I was terrified of this perception because it does not fit the CFO mould!) But remember I am not asking you to abandon your head and it’s brilliant thinking, I am suggesting that it is time to learn to lead with both so that we are accessing all the data available – both from our heads and our hearts. And that means learning to lead with LOVE.
Listening: taking time to actively listen to the people we work with
Openness: bringing an open-mind and non-judgemental attitude to conversations
Vulnerability: authenticity as a leader is critical and that takes vulnerability
Empathy: sensing other people’s emotions and imagining what they might be feeling is usually the first step before we can act compassionately
Some of the CFOs I work with are more task focused than others – we all move up and down the continuum between task and relationship focus depending on circumstances, but we can all develop our capabilities in these areas of LOVE.
It starts with a desire to change, to transform our leadership so that we become more effective as leaders, so that we can deliver improved business performance – and there is nothing soft and fluffy about this!
Rasmus Hougaard in his book The Mind of the Leader, based on his research with over 35,000 leaders, describes leadership this way:
“Leadership today is about unlearning management and relearning being human.”
“A good leader must understand what makes a good life and how to help people find that. A leader’s job is not to provide a paycheck and benefits: It’s about helping people be truly happy and find meaning in their work and life. When a leader succeeds with this, it unlocks real performance.”
I certainly know that if my boss had treated me with more compassion and shown a genuine regard for my growth and development I would have been performing at a much higher level.
What steps can you take this week to lead with more LOVE?
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