Last week I posed that question to a webinar audience of nearly 200 leaders and the response horrified me!
95% of respondents said Yes!!

I have also had that experience in my career - I often said I trusted the CEO as far as I could throw her! And I know that operating in that environment drained my motivation and diminished my performance.

Asking the webinar attendees how they felt during this period of their career delivered some illuminating responses:

“like a pawn in a game”

“disengaged and anxious”

“unsupported and reluctant to share information”

“exposed”

“a lot of wasted energy”

“paranoia: am I being gaslit?”

Now common sense tells us that if this is how we feel then we are not doing our best work so as a leader it is critical that you think about how you build trust.

At the heart of trust is the sense that a leader is walking their talk and that their actions are aligned with their articulated values – your personal values need to be seen in your behaviours.

And nothing is more useless than a list of corporate values on a poster on the wall if they are not being put into action everyday. These organisational values need to be clearly understood in terms of the associated behaviours because the behaviour you tolerate from your team members signals what the values are regardless of what the words on the wall say.

So when I ask if you are walking your talk that begs the question: What is your leadership talk? What are the values which are important to you and how do you intend to bring them to your leadership role?

If this is something you are struggling to identify then I invite you to download this exercise and if you are already clear on your values I encourage you to reflect on how you articulate them at work.

I would love to hear how you go with this exercise and what you learn about yourself in the process.

With love,
​
Sue

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Who else was glued to the Olympics? Wasn’t it fantastic?! So many incredible achievements to be inspired by.

Like so many people across the world (and certainly it felt like every woman or girl I spoke to!) I was entranced by Simone Biles’s achievements in the gymnastics – she truly is quite extraordinary. Having done gymnastics as a kid (albeit very poorly) I am always amazed at what is possible!

And today I want to focus on something I learned in the Netflix documentary Simone Biles Rising because it struck me as being something that afflicts so many successful people I work with.

Following her first Olympics back in 2016, at which she was so successful (winning 4 gold and 1 bronze medals), Simone fell into a depression. Just as everyone expected her to be riding high she came crashing down.

And this is something I am sure many of you have experienced: you have achieved your goals and yet you feel empty, or you immediately shift your focus to what’s next, not taking a moment to celebrate your success.

This leads us to constantly be looking at the next mountain to climb – I’ll be happy when I get that promotion, or when I have the C-suite title, or when I earn $xx. Yet each time we feel good for a minute and then we fall back to earth with a bump.

This phenomenon is known as the arrival fallacy (the term is credited to Dr Tal Ben-Shahar) and it describes the illusion that if we can just achieve this one thing then we will be happy, and the truth is that there is no arriving. We find ourselves in a loop which can lead to constant state of dissatisfaction and stress as we are always chasing the next thing.

Biologically what happens is that as we are chasing and hit the big goals our brains are flooded with dopamine. After the goal is reached the dopamine levels fall, and our mood returns to its baseline level or even lower as the happiness we expected has not materialised.

I know from my own experience that it can be very easy to get caught in this arrival fallacy, thinking that if I had the next promotion I would be happy and I can tell you it only ever worked temporarily!

Be honest with yourself, are you expecting an external event or achievement to provide you with lasting happiness and fulfilment?
So what can we do?

• Take time to celebrate your victories, even the small ones and practice gratitude for how far you have come at this stage
• Connect more deeply to the purpose underlying the goal so that you can find fulfilment in the process and sustain your motivation to keep moving towards your aspirations
• Learn to ground yourself in the present moment, appreciating what you have and where you are right now rather than always looking to the horizon – one of the things I was very struck by when listening to Simone Biles is that she loves to be in the gym
• Develop confidence in who you are, without the titles or the status

This work starts from the inside out and understanding yourself for as the old saying goes:

“Wherever you go, there you are”

With love,
​
Sue

Everyone who knows me knows I love to travel and in my last newsletter I shared how I am holding onto my holiday feelings through a gratitude practice and consciously savouring the moment.

As part of that practice, I want to share some further reflections which prove that holidays are always a great idea and some associated questions to help bring the learning into my everyday work life:

Awe: While we were in Sicily, Mount Etna erupted. Though I wasn’t near the eruption itself, being close to the volcano a few days later, with it still spewing smoke and ash, was a humbling reminder of nature's raw power and our fleeting presence on this planet.

Awe shifts our attention away from ourselves and reminds us that we are part of something bigger – how might that shift affect how I engage with challenges in my work?

New Challenges: Travelling always brings new challenges, and this trip was no exception. Navigating the Sicilian roads and trying to speak the local language pushed me out of my comfort zone. These challenges were daunting but also incredibly rewarding and enriched my travel experience.

How can I ensure that I keep pushing the limits of my comfort zone and keep learning and growing?

Creativity: Exploring new cities,with their hidden gems around every corner, was a delight. The Greek amphitheatre in Taormina, blending ancient history with modern life, left me in awe of human creativity and resilience.

A great exercise to enhance creative thinking is to ask myself how can I find connections between two apparently completely different objects / events?

Friendships: Reconnecting with old friends is one of life’s greatest pleasures. The best friendships endure time and distance, and we found ourselves picking up right where we left off. These reunions, filled with love, honesty, and countless glasses of wine, were marked by tears and laughter, reinforcing the value of these cherished bonds.

I have returned more determined than ever to nurture my relationships: who do I need to call this week?
Laughter & Playfulness: Life can get serious, especially with demanding work schedules. But rediscovering play is essential. Joining the kids on ocean inflatables, we laughed until we cried. Those moments of silliness reminded me not to take life too seriously and to embrace the joy of play. As my 23 year old said: “I hope I am never too old to do this!”

How will I introduce more play into my work life? When we work in a serious role, having fun becomes even more important so I am going to be introducing more playful activities into my coaching and workshops.

Think about your last holiday and ask yourself what can I bring into everyday life?

And then it must be time to plan the next holiday!!

If you want to rethink how you work and lead, then let’s have a chat about how to make changes so that you get greater satisfaction from your life.

With love,
​
Sue

Have you taken a break this year?

I love my work and find it immensely rewarding to work with leaders seeking to increase their impact and enhance their sense of fulfilment at work AND I love to take a break.

I have just returned from a fabulous month-long holiday in Europe. Having spent time in London, Dublin, and Sicily, with family and friends, I feel rejuvenated in mind, body, and spirit. Since I came home, I have been reflecting on the many ways in which this trip filled my cup and today I simply want to focus on one:

Gratitude

I’m immensely grateful for the health and vitality of my 84-year-old mum and stepfather. Their energy and enthusiasm for family adventures remind me of the importance of staying active and engaged with life.

One of the most precious aspects of this trip was the rare opportunity to be with my mum and siblings, all together for the first time in five years. I am grateful that my brother, my sister, our partners and all our kids prioritised family and came together. Those moments around the dinner table, filled with laughter and shared stories, brought me immense joy.

I’m also grateful for the lifestyle my husband and I have built, which allows us the flexibility and financial means to travel. I recognise the privilege in this and don’t take it for granted.

So how can I hold on to these feelings rather than let them drift away too quickly as holiday memories can?

Savour the moment
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To make the most of these fabulous feelings of gratitude, it is important to deeply savour the feelings of joy, happiness, belonging when they arise and notice all the sensations in your body.

During those loud and chaotic dinners, I made a conscious effort to savour these feelings, to be fully present and embrace the love and warmth in the room.

And what does this have to do with being a better leader?

• Practicing gratitude helps you develop a positive outlook, making you more resilient in the face of challenges and setbacks
• Gratitude reduces stress and promotes a sense of well-being, enabling you to maintain a clear and focused mind
• Learning to be fully present in your body with all your sensations helps you respond more effectively to your surroundings
• Being able to recall those feelings in our body can help you regulate your emotional responses
• By appreciating and savouring small positive experiences you can cultivate a greater sense of fulfilment and satisfaction in your role

This holiday was more than just a break from work; it was a lesson in gratitude and the beauty of savouring each moment. So, whether you have been on holiday or not, I invite you to notice and savour all the things you are grateful for – you might be surprised by the ripple effect you create at work!

“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness—it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.” - Brené Brown

If you are looking to be more effective as a leader then reflection is a critical element of your development and this is where executive coaching can support you so if you’d like to accelerate your development this year please schedule a call.

With love,

Sue

WHAT I AM READING

If you’d like to know more about the health benefits of practicing gratitude then check out this article from UCLA Health.

And for some tips on building a gratitude practice visit the Greater Good Science Center Gratitude Journal.

​And being on holiday I focused on reading fiction – devouring both Brooklyn and Long Island by Colm Toibin, which beautifully capture the immigrant experience of a young woman in the 1950s and then subsequently in the 1970s, although the passivity of some of the characters drove me nuts!!

HERE ARE SOME WAYS YOU CAN WORK WITH ME

• Individual Executive Coaching: This is a partnership between coach and client focusing on building leadership capacity.
• Workshop Facilitation: Strengthen team resilience and communication, especially for technically oriented teams.
• Keynote Speaking: Inspire excellence and authentic leadership through executive presence. Learn more here.
• Small Group Coaching: Join CFO Women's Circles for senior female finance leaders to develop and network

If you’d like to know more about any of these, please email me or set up a call.

Recently, while struggling to untangle a ball of necklaces, I found that the harder I pulled and the more I tried to force the knots apart, the tighter they seemed to become. It was only when I paused, relaxed my grip, and approached the problem with patience and a gentle touch that the knots began to loosen and unravel. This had me reflecting on how this experience applies to leadership.

The Power of Letting Go

Embrace Patience

Just as yanking on tangled necklaces makes the knots worse, trying to force solutions in the workplace can exacerbate problems. Embracing patience means creating a supportive environment where team members feel empowered to address and solve issues independently. By stepping back and providing space for self-resolution, leaders encourage growth, problem-solving skills, and independence within their teams.

Trust Your Team

When leaders grip too tightly, constantly overseeing every detail, they stifle their team's autonomy and creativity. Just as untangling necklaces requires a gentle touch, effective leadership demands trust in your team’s abilities. Empower your team members to take ownership of their tasks and you will boost morale as well as enhance innovation.

Flexibility Over Rigidity

A flexible leader is adaptable and open to change, much like the relaxed approach needed to untangle a stubborn knot. Flexibility allows leaders to pivot when necessary, embracing new ideas and solutions as they arise. This adaptability is crucial in today’s fast-paced, ever-changing business landscape.

Focus on the Bigger Picture

When dealing with a knotty problem, it’s easy to become fixated on the immediate tangle, losing sight of the bigger picture. Effective leaders maintain a broad perspective, understanding that sometimes, stepping back can provide clarity. By focusing on overarching goals rather than getting bogged down by minutiae, leaders can better navigate their teams toward success.

Cultivate Calmness and Composure

Just as a steady hand is essential in untangling delicate chains, a composed demeanour helps leaders make clear, thoughtful decisions, especially when navigating crises and high-pressure situations. This calm presence reassures and steadies the team, fostering a resilient and confident organisational culture.

The Value of Pausing

In the frantic pace of leadership, taking a moment to pause can be incredibly beneficial. Whether it’s a short break to clear your mind or a strategic pause to reassess a situation, these moments of stillness can lead to greater clarity and insight. Just as untangling requires occasional pauses to see the best path forward, effective leadership benefits from moments of reflection.

Leadership, much like untangling necklaces, often requires a delicate balance of patience, trust, flexibility, and composure. By learning to let go—releasing the urge to control every detail and instead fostering an environment of autonomy and trust—leaders can guide their teams more effectively. This approach not only resolves immediate issues but also cultivates a more innovative, resilient, and empowered organisation.

The next time you find yourself entangled in the complexities of leadership, remember the simple act of untangling necklaces. Sometimes, the best way forward is to loosen your grip, trust in the process, and let things unfold naturally. In this gentle art of letting go, profound leadership wisdom can be found.

With love,
Sue

WHAT I AM WATCHING

I am reading The Wise Leader by Paul Lawrence and Suzi Skinner, in which they look to the world of wisdom to search for insights on how to be better leaders. It is full of practical exercises and it really aligns with the work I do with clients.

HERE ARE SOME WAYS YOU CAN WORK WITH ME

• Individual Executive Coaching: This is a partnership between coach and client focusing on building leadership capacity.
• Workshop Facilitation: Strengthen team resilience and communication, especially for technically oriented teams.
• Keynote Speaking: Inspire excellence and authentic leadership through executive presence. Learn more here.
• Small Group Coaching: Join CFO Women's Circles for senior female finance leaders to develop and network

If you’d like to know more about any of these, please email me or set up a call.

Say No like IT!!

This was the mantra the group landed on at a recent CFO Roundtable I hosted!!

The group was sharing the challenges they face as CFOs and inevitably the issue of overloaded work schedules was raised. Being asked to do more and more with either the same or less resources, with everything considered to be a priority.

As we discussed how to handle this one member of the group shared that IT teams say “No, we can’t deliver that, we don’t have the resources”. And the question was asked: why don’t finance teams say this?
(The CFO who shared this shall remain nameless in case his IT team read this!!)

There was a common understanding in the room that CFOs and their teams keep saying yes and keep taking on more and more work, which is leading to frustration and burnout.

So how can you take a tip from IT and say no?

1. Find clarity on your strategy Do you know what you are working towards and why? And has this been clearly articulated and communicated across the business?
2. Ruthless prioritisation
3. Get curious about requests
4. Set your own personal boundaries
5. Have the hard conversations

I know that lists like this make it look easier than it is but one thing I know for sure is that getting support will make a difference and no-one can do it all on their own.
Who is in your professional support crew with whom you can discuss these challenges?

With love,
Sue

WHAT I AM WATCHING
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If you are looking for a laugh about how to say no then watch this clip from Little Britain on the computer says No!

HERE ARE SOME WAYS YOU CAN WORK WITH ME

• Individual Executive Coaching: This is a partnership between coach and client focusing on building leadership capacity.
• Workshop Facilitation: Strengthen team resilience and communication, especially for technically oriented teams.
• Keynote Speaking: Inspire excellence and authentic leadership through executive presence. Learn more here.
• Small Group Coaching: Join CFO Women's Circles for senior female finance leaders to develop and network

If you’d like to know more about any of these, please email me or set up a call.

“You are most powerful in a relationship when you accept being influenced”

I was listening to the Diary of a CEO podcast recently and Steven Bartlett was interviewing Drs Julie and John Gottman, renowned relationship experts, primarily about personal intimate relationships, when this phrase leapt out at me as it applies to work relationships.

So many leaders express to me that they feel unheard and that they have a strong desire to make a great impact by becoming more influential, and this is where my work around executive presence comes in.

I talk about the need for confidence, humility and connection and this phrase above expresses so beautifully how confidence and humility intersect. As we develop our confidence in our own value and expertise, we only truly become influential and powerful when we also learn to listen with humility to the perspectives of others and allow them to influence us.

If we bring curiosity and open-mindedness to our conversations, then we create the possibility that our opinions may be changed or shaped by what we hear. It is only when we start to demonstrate this flexibility that we become truly powerful because other people will listen and pay attention to our viewpoints much more when they feel heard themselves.

I have seen the progress clients can make when they let go of the need to cling on tight to their single-minded perception of what is right and what they as a CFO can bring to the table.

One CFO client has completely shifted the dynamic of his conversations with both his Board and his leadership team by learning to lean into his curiosity and ask more questions about how they see an issue and what they would consider to be great outcomes. He is exceptionally smart and often one step ahead in terms of coming up with a solution but taking this time to hear their views allows him to finesse his solution, incorporating their ideas and deliver it in a way in which they will hear it. He is also learning to accept that even when he has a brilliant solution it may not be what others want, for a myriad of reasons, and he must let it go, for the sake of a strong relationship.

These strong relationships are creating the foundation for much more productive collaboration in the senior leadership team and even opening the door to the possibility of the CFO being the current CEO’s successor.

I invite you to think about the following:

• Is my need to be right getting in the way of my relationships?
• How can I create space to listen more and take on diverse opinions?
• What belief about myself do I need to let go of in order to do that?

If you’d like support on your leadership journey, let’s chat.

​With love,
Sue

Are you playing to not lose? Or playing to win?

This is a question I posed to a client recently – on the face of it you may feel that they are the same thing because if you don’t lose surely you win?

However, if you have ever played, or even watched, a sport, I think you recognise the difference.

When we play to not lose we are defensive, and driven by fear, not vision. We are safeguarding the status quo and focused on avoiding risks and reducing threats. We may wear the opposition down but we are also wearing ourselves down and not creating opportunities.

Playing to not lose may make us feel better in the short term because our brain is seeking to protect us by keeping in our comfort zone. We are focused on removing the problem or challenge so we can return to equilibrium.

For example, if I fear that I may be discovered to be a fraud in my new role (hello imposter syndrome!) I may feel the need to micromanage everything that happens in my new department because I am scared of mistakes being made. In the short term this may help me feel better because I am ‘in control’ and create some positive outcomes, however what about in the medium to long term? That behaviour is likely to lead to disengagement in staff members and burn out for me!

Playing to win requires us to be more proactive: to create a vision and purpose towards which we can work. We seek opportunities to progress and inspire our teams to reach new heights. Instead of reacting to fear we take action based on passion and energy. Fear will always be present but it is no longer running the show.

Playing to win does not mean that we recklessly pursue every opportunity, rather it means that we take calculated risks and use strategic planning to move towards our North Star. It requires us to create a culture of collaboration and innovation, unleashing the full potential of the team and contributing to a growth cycle.

So I invite you to ask yourself:

Are you playing to not lose? Or are you playing to win?

What might be possible for your leadership journey and the future of the organisation if you could shift your mindset?

In The Leadership Circle Profile, a 360 degree feedback assessment I use with clients, these concepts are embedded into the reactive tendencies (playing to not lose) and the creative capacities (playing to win) of leadership.

If you are interested in taking your leadership to the next level, utilising 360 degree feedback is a great way to uncover beliefs and behaviours you may not be aware of. Are you ready to take the plunge? Let’s have a conversation.

With love,
​
Sue

Last week I was delighted to participate in the Thomson Reuters Synergy event exploring “How Tech Impacts the Way we Work’.

What do I know about tech you may ask? And you’d be right to ask because the answer is not that much!

What I do see is the impact tech has on the way my clients work and lead because the ever-accelerating pace of change challenges us in new ways.

I see four primary traps leaders can fall into:

1. The ‘I must become an expert’ trap
2. The ‘overwhelmed to the point of paralysis’ trap
3. The ‘technology will fix all our productivity issues’ trap
4. The ‘shiny new toy’ trap

Let’s unpack what each of these mean for leaders:

1. The ‘I must become an expert’ trap

This trap captures you when you believe that to introduce new technology you must become an expert in it so you spend inordinate amounts of time researching and learning, driven by the belief that you must know more than your team members.

Warning: there is simply too much out there for you to be an expert in everything!

2. The ‘overwhelmed to the point of paralysis’ trap

This can be driven by the ‘I must become an expert’ trap or can be when you realise that you need new solutions and add that to your ‘to do’ list without a plan for how to move forward, or you have reached a decision point and the choice is overwhelming.

3. The ‘technology will fix all our productivity issues’ trap

You or your team have identified a wonderful solution to a particular problem and are implementing it with great gusto, followed by great disappointment when users don’t embrace it.

4. The ‘shiny new toy’ trap

As a leader you are super excited about tech and keep alighting on new projects, creating a culture of anxiety about what is going and what is staying and confusion around the purpose of the technology.

All of these traps can be addressed by reconnecting to two things:

1. Your purpose

What is the North Star you are working towards? What is the big picture in terms of your strategy and what will move you in the right direction?

Your role as a leader is to ensure that your team is connected to this purpose and that they are inspired and empowered to move in the same direction.

2. The human element

Tech is a tool to enhance our work experience, not replace human critical thinking skills. It can offer a powerful advantage over human capabilities when it comes to processing large amounts of data or automating laborious tasks, but we must not lose sight of the humans involved. Humans are essentially social animals and connection is key to engagement at work.

Being a leader means inspiring, influencing and empowering your peers and your team members around the adoption of tech. For this your leadership presence is critical.

It means reassuring people about what will stay the same in the future and their value to the organisation. It means exciting them about what new higher-level work they will be able to take on once tech has freed up capacity. It means leaning into their development by upskilling them and trusting them to become experts. It means being vulnerable enough to not always have the answer but to lean into asking questions. It means inviting the contributions of others and collaborating more to make wise decisions.

Are you ready to focus on becoming the leader you want to be? Leading and innovating without getting caught in these traps? Then let’s have a conversation.

Or are you interested in improving your team’s ability to communicate and work through their challenges without getting stuck in their day-to-day tasks? Then let’s chat about a workshop.

With love,
​
Sue

When you look at this image above what do you see?

And when you think of an anchor what does that bring up for you?

One member of the CFO Women’s Circle described being in the group as ‘an anchor which keeps me grounded’. For her an anchor suggests stability and security, a way to find your centre when everything around you may be tumultuous, a place of safety when surrounded by uncertainty. If you have ever been boating, you will appreciate the value of being able to drop anchor and sleep soundly in the knowledge that you are securely tethered.

However, another client when faced with the same image saw a heavy load, weighing him down and preventing him moving forward in the way he wanted. It represented the limiting belief that he did not deserve to step up into a bigger role and take on a larger team and more responsibility – after all he did not go to ‘the right school / university’ and was no longer scoring perfect A’s in his work. He needed to untether from this belief to find the courage and the freedom to focus on what was needed to elevate him in the new role, because perfectionism was not going to help him!

It has been said that;

‘We do not see things are they are, we see them as we are.’

Everything we see we are interpreting through the lens of our own experiences, education, cultural background, societal expectations and our current stage in life.

Bringing awareness to the lens through which I view a subject is a key element of my development as an adult. Once I start to see what is shaping my response, I can interrogate it and push back on assumptions I was previously holding unconsciously. This can enable me to see new perspectives and explore new possibilities for how to move forward. It can also help me connect with other people by understanding that the way I see the world is not the only way to see the world.

My daughter is 23 years old and she works in a retail store in Bondi Junction – what she experiences when she walks into the Westfield shopping centre there now is very different from what it was just a few weeks ago and is also very different from how I or my husband experience the same place.

You will have members of your team who are impacted by the news and current affairs in significantly differently ways to you so it can be helpful to ask ourselves;

“What if what I am seeing is not the full picture?”

As leaders in organisations our ability to not only see multiple perspectives but hold multiple perspectives simultaneously is critical to our growth. It shapes our ability to demonstrate that we care and to enhance our executive presence as we seek to influence and shape organisational strategy and growth.

If you are a leader ready to challenge yourself to grow and increase your capacity to deal with uncertainty and complexity, then let’s chat about how coaching can support you to do that.

With love,
​
Sue