OK, Mr Motivational Guru, so I could pack in my well-paid career, enrol in drama school and become a world famous Hollywood star! And that would fall into place because of the positive affirmations I would recite every day and the passion I would bring to my roles? Or then again, perhaps not?
We’ve all read that following your passion will be your path to success and I don’t suppose that I’m the only one who has cynically rolled their eyes and wondered who will pay the mortgage whilst I try and find myself and pursue my ‘true’ destiny!
And sometimes I look at those infographics which demonstrate how some very influential people redesigned their career and I laugh out loud! Because most of them made the change by the ripe old age of 30!
The examples post-40 are much less common so it’s easy to become stuck and feel like you have no choice.
There are many barriers, such as a mortgage and school fees, which mean we are loathe to move on from a well-paid position to something riskier and probably less financially rewarding (at least in the short term). There are also non-financial constraints such as the desire to meet the expectations of our family. They want us to be happy but they also expect us to be there for them and I want to be able to provide for them so I can’t just say to hell with what everyone thinks.
Acceptance is NOT Resignation
Sometimes you have to accept where you are at right now and acknowledge that this may not be your dream job but it’s ok for this stage of your life.
When my children were very young I was in a role I was unhappy with and I felt frustrated and trapped. Outwardly I had it all: I was well-paid and worked part-time so I could spend time with the kids but I felt unfulfilled and I was internally fighting against the situation. It was through my first experience of being coached that I realised that my constant railing against the situation was actually making me unhappier.
I discovered that if I focused on gratitude for what I did have and accepted that this job was not forever but worked well for this stage of my life then I became more relaxed and positive. I rediscovered my love of dancing and acting which resulted in my attitude improving so my work performance improved and coming to work got easier again.
I was speaking with a client recently and unlike me she is in a place of acceptance. She has 2 young children and her husband has chosen to be the stay-at-home carer. She works full-time in a management position, which she happily describes as “ok for the stage we are at”.
That’s great, yet I would still urge her to not forget the dreams completely but keep building small things into her career and life which will help her move forward.
Acceptance is a positive understanding of why you are where you are, which allows you the freedom to search for a way forward.
Resignation is a defeatist response which brings your mood down and prohibits you from finding an appropriate next step.
YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE!
There are so many things you can do to keep the long-term journey going in the right direction.
What do you mean your dream is impossible?
So if your dream as a child, which you secretly still harbour, is that of being an astronaut, then admittedly it is a little tricky to achieve once you are over 40! However what you can do is look at what aspects of that dream still excite you – does it appeal to your sense of adventure? The desire to be at the cutting edge of science? The physical challenge?
Consider how you might bring these elements into your everyday life – set yourself a tough physical challenge such as a marathon or a major hike, book sky-diving lessons if you are looking for an adrenaline rush, plan an adventure holiday, take a science course.
Ken Robinson’s excellent book “The Element” talks about finding that point at which your natural talent meets your personal passion and he acknowledges that even if you cannot pursue your element full-time the enjoyment you get from it will enhance even the dreariest job as you become a more fulfilled individual.
I know a senior recruitment executive who plays in a rock band, a maths teacher who is a belly dancer and personally I hop on a stage at every opportunity!
Not even sure what your dream is?
Then try something new – shift your focus to a new activity which appeals just for the sheer fun of it – take trapeze classes, join a new book club, watch a sport you’ve never watched before, visit a new art gallery. Trying new things will charge up neurons in your brain which may have long been dormant and you’ll meet new people, broadening your mind and opening your eyes to new possibilities. Even if you don’t immediately discover a burning passion you will learn new skills and have some laughs along the way.
My only advice is to not give up on the dreams altogether. Keep looking long-term and build small things in to your work and life which will support you whatever move you choose to make later.
ALLOW YOURSELF TO DREAM….
THEN TAKE ACTION (even if it’s baby steps and not a giant leap of faith!!)
If you would like support in building your plans to move forward, or figuring out how to incorporate your strengths and talents into your working life more consistently contact me at [email protected]
We’ve all read that following your passion will be your path to success and I don’t suppose that I’m the only one who has cynically rolled their eyes and wondered who will pay the mortgage whilst I try and find myself and pursue my ‘true’ destiny!
And sometimes I look at those infographics which demonstrate how some very influential people redesigned their career and I laugh out loud! Because most of them made the change by the ripe old age of 30!
The examples post-40 are much less common so it’s easy to become stuck and feel like you have no choice.
There are many barriers, such as a mortgage and school fees, which mean we are loathe to move on from a well-paid position to something riskier and probably less financially rewarding (at least in the short term). There are also non-financial constraints such as the desire to meet the expectations of our family. They want us to be happy but they also expect us to be there for them and I want to be able to provide for them so I can’t just say to hell with what everyone thinks.
Acceptance is NOT Resignation
Sometimes you have to accept where you are at right now and acknowledge that this may not be your dream job but it’s ok for this stage of your life.
When my children were very young I was in a role I was unhappy with and I felt frustrated and trapped. Outwardly I had it all: I was well-paid and worked part-time so I could spend time with the kids but I felt unfulfilled and I was internally fighting against the situation. It was through my first experience of being coached that I realised that my constant railing against the situation was actually making me unhappier.
I discovered that if I focused on gratitude for what I did have and accepted that this job was not forever but worked well for this stage of my life then I became more relaxed and positive. I rediscovered my love of dancing and acting which resulted in my attitude improving so my work performance improved and coming to work got easier again.
I was speaking with a client recently and unlike me she is in a place of acceptance. She has 2 young children and her husband has chosen to be the stay-at-home carer. She works full-time in a management position, which she happily describes as “ok for the stage we are at”.
That’s great, yet I would still urge her to not forget the dreams completely but keep building small things into her career and life which will help her move forward.
Acceptance is a positive understanding of why you are where you are, which allows you the freedom to search for a way forward.
Resignation is a defeatist response which brings your mood down and prohibits you from finding an appropriate next step.
YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE!
There are so many things you can do to keep the long-term journey going in the right direction.
What do you mean your dream is impossible?
So if your dream as a child, which you secretly still harbour, is that of being an astronaut, then admittedly it is a little tricky to achieve once you are over 40! However what you can do is look at what aspects of that dream still excite you – does it appeal to your sense of adventure? The desire to be at the cutting edge of science? The physical challenge?
Consider how you might bring these elements into your everyday life – set yourself a tough physical challenge such as a marathon or a major hike, book sky-diving lessons if you are looking for an adrenaline rush, plan an adventure holiday, take a science course.
Ken Robinson’s excellent book “The Element” talks about finding that point at which your natural talent meets your personal passion and he acknowledges that even if you cannot pursue your element full-time the enjoyment you get from it will enhance even the dreariest job as you become a more fulfilled individual.
I know a senior recruitment executive who plays in a rock band, a maths teacher who is a belly dancer and personally I hop on a stage at every opportunity!
Not even sure what your dream is?
Then try something new – shift your focus to a new activity which appeals just for the sheer fun of it – take trapeze classes, join a new book club, watch a sport you’ve never watched before, visit a new art gallery. Trying new things will charge up neurons in your brain which may have long been dormant and you’ll meet new people, broadening your mind and opening your eyes to new possibilities. Even if you don’t immediately discover a burning passion you will learn new skills and have some laughs along the way.
My only advice is to not give up on the dreams altogether. Keep looking long-term and build small things in to your work and life which will support you whatever move you choose to make later.
ALLOW YOURSELF TO DREAM….
THEN TAKE ACTION (even if it’s baby steps and not a giant leap of faith!!)
If you would like support in building your plans to move forward, or figuring out how to incorporate your strengths and talents into your working life more consistently contact me at [email protected]
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